June 14, 2020

6. Bobbi Rebell | Let's Talk About Money, Honey

Join us today as we speak with Bobbi Rebell from Financial Grown Up and Money with Friends as she speaks with us today about being a special needs parent herself and gave us some great insight for financial management.



[00:01:06] This was a fun episode. Bobby spoke with us about being a special needs parent herself and gave us some great insight for financial management. Please enjoy this episode and if you like it, don't forget to subscribe and share with a friend. All right. Welcome to the show. Bobbi Rebell. Thank you for joining us.

[00:01:24] Thank you so much for having me. Bobby is a certified financial planner and we're super excited to have her on the show. She's also a parent, correct? Yes I am. And how many kids do you have? I have three kids. I have a. I have two stepchildren ages, 23 and 20. They keep changing their ages every year. So I have to, you know, focus and then I have a twelve-year-old awesome.

[00:01:49] So tell us a little bit about, um, you know, you as a parent and a little bit about yourself. So I grew up in the New York area and, um, went to Penn and went to, um, Uh, I wanted to be a journalist, I should say. Sorry, lost my train of thought. Um, anyway, so I became a journalist. I worked for CNBC as a production system started at the very bottom.

[00:02:13] I actually was an intern at CNN before that and worked my way up eventually became a business news television anchor, and literally traveled the country interviewing CEOs. From, you know, bill Gates to, um, you know, the guys from like shark tank, like I've interviewed Barbara Corcoran, Kevin O'Leary and so on.

[00:02:35] And I had a great career in business TV. And then for a number of reasons, one of which we'll talk about, which has to do with my 12 year old, I decided to pivot and I became an author in large part one because I really did want to write this book, but also because I wanted it to have a different kind of work schedule a different lifestyle so that I could be a little more focused on.

[00:02:54] Making sure that things were good with the now 12 year old. Cause there was a lot of activity going on that, you know, it can be challenging for nannies and caregivers. So I want it to be more hands-on. And so I wrote the book how to be a financial grownup, which now became the podcast, financial grownup.

[00:03:09] And I also host another podcast called money with friends with Joe. So I'll say hi, which is busy. Cause you don't just do that like once a week or once a month, you do this like multiple times a week. Yeah. So money with friends, we cover headlines usually related to personal finance. We have a rotating cast of thought leaders.

[00:03:30] And so people, journalists, CEOs, and such that come on as guest hosts. And we do that show six days a week. Um, financial grownup. I have highly accomplished people come on and share money stories and the lessons from them and everyday money tips that used to be three days a week, but because I've become so busy with money with friends, which is now on Westwood, one networks, um, we did recently cut financial grownup back to.

[00:03:54] One day a week. And I also do some work with brands, um, anchoring sponsored content where as a spokesperson and I'm working on my next book. So just a little, little bit busy being a mom, being a mom, my wife and a mother, and also I, and also we have a dog. An adorable eight year old Morkie Maltese Yorkie.

[00:04:13] Who's uh, so cute for my Instagram file. So you're, you're super busy. I mean, I know what that's like, just being a mother and working, you know, a regular 40 hour week job and it's exhausting. I can't imagine. I mean, you have to be probably a very type a personality organized yeah. Uh, manager total type a yes.

[00:04:37] You're, you're driven for sure. I mean you can't. I think that's the type of personality. I think everyone we talk to is who's a mom on this that we interview. We were like, Oh, you must be tired. Who's a parent. You were like, Oh, you're managing all these things. You're a manager, you know, your type a, you're a manager.

[00:04:52] You're, you're managing a household. Yeah. Well, I think that it's a lot of scheduling and planning. And I think that I learned a lot about that from being a journalist because when you work in television and I did a lot of live television and I was, or before I was on camera, you have to hit the commercial breaks or no one gets paid.

[00:05:09] So you're always back timing. You're always saying it's not how much time you've done. It's how much time you have till the break. So you're always figuring out. So for example, I was here on time because I knew the time we were taping, I literally, you know, backpedal of my day through the different things I had to do.

[00:05:24] So I knew that I had to get organized for dinner. For example, before I came here. So I knew that, you know, half an hour before the interview, I was putting the rice in the rice cooker an hour before I was checking that I had all the ingredients for, um, my 12 year old and I were going to make orange, Chinese, orange chicken tonight.

[00:05:39] So we didn't have ingredients. So I had to go out to the market quickly. So I, everything is back times throughout the whole day. Right. And that comes from journalism. Yeah. I feel that I feel like that's my day, every day. And then there's a day where I just like lose it. And I'm like, yeah, nothing's getting done today.

[00:05:53] Everything is backwards. And I'm going to just like, ignore it. And then I think backfire it backfires and then like super annoyed at myself. Then I'm like, I wish I didn't do that, but you know what, here's the thing, like, there are certain things you have to, I try to, my priority is always if something needs to get done because it impacts somebody else.

[00:06:13] That's my priority. Right? So for example, that's why. The thing I'm having the biggest trouble with right now is writing my second book because no one's impacted by that. If I don't show up for money with friends taping. Well, my partner, Joe sulci high is impacted clearly. I have responsibilities to Westwood one clearly, so on.

[00:06:32] If I don't get my, I have an editor for, um, financial grownup van, get my scripts in on time. It's gonna mess up his weekend. Let's say, so those things take priority. And that's why other things sometimes fall by the wayside and also things to pay money. Take priority. Yeah, for sure. I get this money and sending out invoices, that's always a priority.

[00:06:51] Send your invoices. That's my number. Send the invoice, send them on time so that you get paid on time. Right? Exactly. You'd be surprised how many people are sloppy with billing. Like get that invoice out. That doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, that's number one. I can see that. It seems crazy agrees with me.

[00:07:12] Yeah. Well, cause I'm the knucklehead that's like, Oh yeah. You know what? I'll grab that later. Y'all send that to you later. And Kristen's like, do you want me to send that for you five minutes? Do it please. Cause I didn't send that. No exactly. That's my best business advice. Make sure you get paid. Yeah, it doesn't.

[00:07:33] It doesn't matter if you did the work, if you don't get paid for it. Well, it's so nice that my financial advisor is getting advice from a professional financial advisor. So I'm just winning through this whole interview. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about, um, your twelve-year-old. I know that you've had some struggles here and there just like we have in some other parents in our community.

[00:07:55] Tell us a little bit about, you know, your experience with your 12 year old. So my 12 year old, it was always very vivacious, very larger than life, charming personality. Um, But we like to joke, you know, he went from sitting, he didn't crawl, he didn't walk, he just got up and started running. And he was really an adorable handful as a very young child.

[00:08:17] And like I said, incredibly sweet and loving and very handsome. So he'll be charming in that way too. And my, my stepmother always talks about that and he would get away with stuff. But when it got to the point where he was in structured environments, little things would come out and he had a lot of trouble following directions and it started to.

[00:08:37] Become more noticeable, different from other kids. And it was frustrating because he would say, yes, mom, I understand that we can't, you know, go over there and play with the paints over there. I know we're doing this over here right now, but then he would still go running off in a different direction, doing his own thing.

[00:08:54] And he would say, I can't help it. We would be, let's say at a birthday party. And he would be. Great at circle time doing a quiet activity, but then let's say if it was a little girl's birthday party and you know, we're in New York. So sometimes it would be at a club and they'd take out the disco ball and suddenly they're having this dance party and all the other children jumping up and down and having the best time.

[00:09:15] And there's confetti flying and the DJ's having a, you know, a blast and there's all kinds of stuff happening. And suddenly there's a total meltdown. Yeah, and he's hiding under a chair and I don't understand why. And to, you know, a parent just this just happening, you're almost embarrassed to the other parents.

[00:09:32] You don't know what's wrong and you just think that they are misbehaving. And it wasn't until later that I started to learn that this was, you know, his, he had a lot of sensory issues and things like that. That he couldn't control it. You know, it was, you would say don't climb up that, um, we have a lot of scaffolding in New York.

[00:09:47] Can you say don't climb up that scaffolding it's dangerous. There's, you know, nails coming out of it. There's so many, you're going to fall on concrete. There's so many dangerous things and he, you know, he would run ahead and do it. And he would say, I know it's dangerous. I don't want to do it, but I can't help myself.

[00:10:02] It was just this insane impulse control. And it was incredibly frustrating because you want to help. And you've got such a sweet child that says they're trying. But it keeps happening. I mean, I remember once sitting at a restaurant and I, I looked up and he was suddenly running out the door into traffic and we were able to stop him, but it was just, you know, this boundless energy, which normally it would be, if it weren't so dangerous, it would be adorable.

[00:10:27] No. Yeah. It's a safety thing, so, yeah. Yeah. So it was, it was very scary and yet charming. Yeah. Well  wonderful sweep personality and the most amazing energy. Well, because was that same personality, I think in that same energy, you get that personality where there's somebody who can be so charming because there is that lack of.

[00:10:53] What's for LA, I don't know what the Mickey's fearless, fearless fear rock. And if you didn't stop him, he would just jump off the rock. I mean, it was, you know, you're fighting to protect this child from himself effectively and it can be really terrifying as a parent. Now, does it, is it difficult sometimes to find that boundary line to let them.

[00:11:14] Kind of find their own way and be able to do things, but still I'll instill allow them to kind of have that little bit of no fear, but hold them back enough to give them safety. Will you try. A lot of indoor gym glasses where they literally can't hurt themselves. And that's good. They're not always listening to the teachers, but there's a lot of amazing teachers with so much patience and they, you know, they were great.

[00:11:41] So there absolutely were places that were wonderful for him. And he did very well with things that had an order and a structure like cooking. He always to this day, likes to know exactly what is happening each day with respect to which classes were happening for how long, what was expected of him. He really needs that structure and really thrives on structure and knowing what's going to happen.

[00:12:02] Yeah. So like a plan and a plan to the, to the S to the day or plan to whatever's happening is helpful. Yeah, perfect. I mean, that's actually, I think a good something that maybe seems counter intuitive for somebody who has some lack of impulse control, because you'd think that that might be difficult for them thinking, Oh, we're going to give you structure when it's hard for them to have structure, but really it's probably something that they strive for or that they need.

[00:12:29] It is exactly it does seem counterintuitive. And it's interesting because we did end up moving schools for him. The school that he was in was not the right fit as we like to say euphemistically. And so we had to look for a new school and I did look at some progressive schools that had really no structure.

[00:12:44] And I remember dropping him off for the day and they had to call me to come get him because he said he didn't like it. He didn't know what was going on. It was one of these schools with no walls and everyone's grades kind of blended. He really wanted to have a structured classroom. And now he's in a school where I think they're going to loosen up the uniform a little bit, but you know, he really enjoyed putting on a uniform with a blazer and a tie, and that gave him a real sense of purpose and a sense of where he was going and helped him to focus for those less than think about interesting.

[00:13:11] Yeah, exactly. Well, they'll still have a uniform. It's going to be less formal, I think, because I think the school, um, realize that that that was not the right fit for the kids. It wasn't really of the times. Yeah. So I think that that's, you know what, they did give them a little freedom to kind of, they're giving them a more casual uniform, but they don't have to wear a blazer and tie every day, which I think is a really good thing.

[00:13:33] I think it's progress. Yeah. Let them kind of have a little identity at the same time structure plus identity. So it's fun. That was a little, I'm not going to lie close to home. Eddie has his own ADHD issues.

[00:13:53] I think we all have some, a little bit of that. So growing up, Eddie had some. ADHD as well. And I think felt that he definitely could have used a good teacher or someone to kind of help him with that structure. We talk about it all the time. Like I'll as an adult, I'm like, if I could just give you some structure as an adult, like, I just wish you had it as a child because as an adult you'd have those coping skills or you'd have these tools and yeah.

[00:14:23] It's so hard as an adult to see another adult that you're like, if only as a child, you had these tools. You'd know how to like, you know, it's hard. It's. Yeah. And I like the fact that now as a society, um, I think a lot of the stigma is taken away. And I think that a lot of there's a lot more resources for parents than there used to be.

[00:14:42] I, it took me a very long time to get any kind of diagnosis because, you know, I would be told, no, he doesn't have ease, not autistic. He doesn't have this. He doesn't, he wasn't dyslexic. He wasn't this. And so it takes a very long time sometimes to come up with the right. Diagnosis, and then, you know, getting help, which we're going to talk about later is a whole other thing.

[00:15:01] So I think that's really hard, but at first we also were very against any formal treatment. We wanted to just work on changing his diet and making sure, um, One thing we did was we would walk him to school every day. The teachers felt that would just get rid of his, some of his energy because he had so much energy, but that's also true of, let's say a seven year old boy that they have a lot of energy.

[00:15:21] So we would walk through central park to his school. Um, so that's about it. It was about a 25 minute walk to get to school. And that's a lot it's really healthy for him as a parent as well. I think the commitment, you know, that gets overlooked sometimes when it's like. Said to parents. Oh, well, you know, they walk them to school for twenty-five minutes.

[00:15:41] Well, not everyone has the capabilities suggest grace, and it has to time out where you, when at work and even things like they want, you know, while he's doing that, they, he also did a lot of, um, I forget what it called. It was kind of an audio therapy where he would listen to different sounds. He had special headphones.

[00:15:59] And there was some kind of therapy that he had to do. I think two times a day, for a few years, we were doing that. So that's another thing that you have to make sure to do and, you know, and they suggested doing that while you're traveling or while they're eating meals. It's just, there's a lot of things to remember.

[00:16:13] And I think that I didn't always, I mean, I failed in a lot of it because a lot of it, you would go to, you know, occupational therapy and you're supposed to follow up at home and do these exercises every day. And sometimes you just don't you just collapse when you get home. I mean, I was just tired. I worked in very intensive.

[00:16:28] Jobs and some, you know, the period after, um, you know, the years after the recession, which is when he was very young, I was because they had laid off so many people, I was working very long hours. So it was a fight just to get home before he was asleep. And, you know, the nanny was there and it's, it's a lot when, you know, on a safer, you don't say that you failed because I've heard parents say that so many times I've said it myself, There are, we're thrown so many different therapies and ideas and tools that we should be trying with our children.

[00:17:04] And it is thoroughly exhausting to try all of these things and impossible to do them all correctly, or do them all in jail. And so, well, yeah, I mean, it's harder to throwing stuff at the only kid that doesn't have sugar or gluten. I mean, you know, it's really, really bad. It's throwing stuff at the wall and you're hoping it sticks.

[00:17:25] Yeah. That's what we were saying. Yeah. Eventually we did have him take medicine and that's a whole other issue. Yeah. On call has its own complications. It's not a perfect thing. You're going to try many different ones and you, you know, and there's side effects. Yeah. And something's going to work now that might not work when he's 20 and that might not work when he's 30.

[00:17:45] And you know, I think that's a whole nother conversation where I think there's a stigma around. You know, you get to a point where the medication might be the answer. I think you, you know, on my, not that this is, uh, you know, my opinion may not be everybody's opinion. Everybody's decisions are their decisions, but I definitely think, like you said, like choosing the diet, choosing all of these things and trying all of these things first was probably the right way for you guys, because you are.

[00:18:18] You know, trying everything you can before you get to the medication tool, because you are thinking about your child first, you know, you want to make sure you're doing everything you can before you put something in their body that might be harmful because it can be harmful. There are medications that can be harmful.

[00:18:36] There are, but it can also be helpful. You're weighing the kind of pros and cons of it. Exactly. It's very hard. And you know, it's also that they, there are side effects that have different impacts at different ages. So the longer you can wait, sometimes it could be better, but I, we did reach a point where not only was he a danger to himself, but he could potentially be a danger to somebody else and to another child.

[00:19:00] And that's really where you'd have to really make some, some tough decisions, but the side effects are real. I mean, you really, you know, Has trouble falling asleep at night, it affects your appetite and there is the potential that it can affect growth. So, you know, there are, sometimes we try to not do medicine on the weekends.

[00:19:17] I also really, because he's 12 now and can articulate his needs some days I say, well, do you not want to take it today? It's a weekend. You don't have anything scheduled, then I'll say, okay. And sometimes I'll say, Oh, but I'm going to go do this activity. Or I'm playing with three friends and I really want to focus.

[00:19:30] Can you give me a small dose? Right. Well, I think that's important that listening the difference it makes in his personality. He knows at this point, I think it's different. That's super important. You, as a parent are willing to listen to him kind of in his needs because there are parents out there that are probably like, Oh, you're 12.

[00:19:48] You don't know what's right. You know, I I've talked to the doctors and this is what I feel is right. We've talked to guests already at this point, who have said that now as an adult, Me having the freedom as a child and getting my parents, giving me that voice made me a stronger adult, that I was able to speak up when a doctor said something and I didn't feel comfortable with that.

[00:20:13] So you giving him that voice to be able to say, Hey, this makes me feel comfortable. Or this doesn't is super important for when he becomes an adult and he's sitting in a doctor's office alone, and a doctor might say to him, Hey, I think you should take this medication. And he might not feel comfortable with that.

[00:20:29] He's going to be able to speak up for himself. We're very fortunate. We have a very conservative doctor who is co always saying, do you feel you can take the dosage down a little bit? Do you maybe want to, let's try not giving him the extra, the extra little booster area and we give them a little extra at lunchtime.

[00:20:44] Do you want to try not doing that? Do you want to try taking a break for the summer? So we're very fortunate that we do have that conservative doctor. That's always saying you don't have to be on the medication forever. Let's see how it goes. Because you don't want to see dependency and it's not, it is something foreign in their body and it can affect their personality as well.

[00:21:03] He knows he acts differently. It's a sort of a quiet or chill personality, which can be great, but it's also not great. It's not his true self. So it's important to do, for example. When it comes to standardized testing, he did horribly. It would, it was worse than if you just pick the answers random. It was as if he wasn't there, it was worse.

[00:21:24] And then when he had the mitigation, suddenly he's incredibly bright. I mean, I think he, you know, really top of the class, it just very book-smart when he can focus. Yeah. But without the medication, he would not get that focus that he needs. I think that's a key word there. Standardized is like the worst point in it is that it's standardized in that they're not really looking at how each kid learns and how each kid contest and how each kid can communicate.

[00:21:52] They're just. Going with the standard and not every kid is the standard, but that's a whole nother topic for a whole nother day, but it's also important. Get him into what I believe is the right school that they've been. First of all, they have been doing a great job with a remote learning. If he is ever not in the seat, when he's supposed to be.

[00:22:10] I get an email. Well, he gets an email and I'm, CC'd on it. If he is slumping in his seat and not sitting upright, I get an email that's fantastic there on him. And I really have to say we found a wonderful school for him and they even just before he started in fifth grade. Yeah. They knew what he needed.

[00:22:28] And they said, okay, you know, because he has focus issues, we're going to put them in the front row. We're going to make sure he's not distracted. We are aware of this. And having the teachers just know that it's critical and making them partners and communicating with them. How long did it take you to get, you know, to find the right school and get him to this point?

[00:22:50] It was challenging because, you know, he went to, well, they're all mainstream schools, I should say. So he went to a school for preschool and he was very rambunctious. And one of the first signs that he had something, um, that was a little bit different was they would complain that he didn't want to transition from one activity to another.

[00:23:11] Now here's the thing. We asked him about that. And he said, well, I've spent the whole class building this, let's say Lego structure. I need another 10 minutes to finish it. I know they're going to break it down when I leave it. And I don't, that's not fair. I want to work on it tomorrow. So I want to have 10 more minutes to finish it.

[00:23:28] So to me, I think he's being logical to the teachers. He's being difficult and that's not the rule. The rule is one time's up. You're done. And you start over tomorrow. Because other children have to use that toy. So it's tricky. So that school was a little tricky, but he, you know, co graduated at age five and earned it.

[00:23:46] He got into a very strong academic school, but it was very, um, specific our way or the highway school. And I think that it was challenging. And as the years went by. The problem was they could see how bright he was and sort of a book-smart way. But yet you had this behavior and we did have somebody that would sit with him in class.

[00:24:02] I think it was called the  and we did have an IEP, which meant he got extra help. So for one period that was maybe a lighter class, he would go and have occupational therapy. He would have extra academic help and all of that. But it was still so much that when it came to middle school, it just, you can't have that, those services when you start getting into middle school.

[00:24:24] So then we did switch into a school that was a better fit for someone that had his needs. But if they're all mainstream school. Yeah. But it seems like an, I mean, kudos to you for sticking with it, but it does seem like it's been a little bit of a journey for you guys to kind of get him to this point and for him as well.

[00:24:42] It sounds like it's probably been tiring. For lack of a better one. Yeah. Well, he didn't know how much he was struggling. He didn't want to leave the other school because he had friends. He was always very affable. But once he was at the new school, he really loved it. Yeah. Sometimes you don't know what you need until you get it.

[00:24:58] Yeah. He's really happy now, but he was, he's always been a very happy kid. It's hard to pull a kid out of school when they're happy. Yeah, ethically, it was going to really, the tone of the school was going to change in middle school and it just was not going to be a fit. I thought he would really have really started to struggle in middle school.

[00:25:17] So we wanted to prevent that negative experience that we could see coming down the road. Well, it sounds like, you know, you're probably at the plateau now where things are starting to kind of. Level out, hopefully. Yeah. He's in a really happy kid now. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. For the whole pandemic stuck at home, doing your classes on zoom, missing your friends.

[00:25:37] Yeah. He's on, he's on FaceTime with his friends at lunchtime and, and so he's at least social and basically doing whatever their kid is doing. Yeah. That's the thing is that they're all doing it right now, which is it's. It is terrible though. Like our kids, I suppose, selling someone at least once a week.

[00:25:55] There's a mini little meltdown where they're just crying and saying, I don't understand why I can't see my friends. This is so hard. When will this add? That's the hardest part? When will this end? When can I go see grandma? When can I, and I don't have an answer. I, I that's, I think what's harder for them is that there's just not an answer to when they can see grandma when they can.

[00:26:15] Go hang out with their friends again, like even our daughter was like, when can I go to target with you? I'm like, who can't, I can't take her to target with me. I can't take it. I'm like we took little Eddie to buy a bicycle the other day and it was all outside. We had to I'm like, you have to wear a mask.

[00:26:33] Maybe even like a little kitty mass and it was terrible and heartbreaking to watch. And he's like, I just, I have to take it off. I can't breathe. I have to take it off. I can't breathe. And we were like, this is terrible to make an eight year old, wear a mask outside at a bike shop. I'm like, this is none of this is.

[00:26:51] This is just, I feel like I'm in the Twilight zone. Yeah. The whole thing is so crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, we met two months ago and none of this could have ever been, been expected. No, we were sitting at it. We were sitting in a room with a thousand people, probably at a conference. Yeah. Well, who knew?

[00:27:10] Not me. I know, I wish I could go back and Florida right now. I could tell you that. I know it's also the last trip. It's also still like 50 degrees here and it's like, never going to get warm. It's been, it doesn't help. It's been such a rainy bad weather spring, leading fleeting yesterday. I was like, the kids are feeling the same way we're feeling.

[00:27:33] Yeah. Really sad days too. So it's hard. We're all having a hard time. And I think that. As we record this, we're about two months in, we're kind of reaching a breaking point where we want to get back out. And I feel like if we don't, we're going to all just go into sort of this slump where it just sort of just becomes yeah, I'm going well, John healthy.

[00:27:52] No, I don't even know. It's not good for long-term mental health on anybody at this point. No, it's really not. At least the weather will be better and we can be outside a little more. Yeah. Maybe depending on where everybody is, but it's really hard. And, uh, uh, you know, my son does go to sleep boy camp now, and he had a good year last year and wants to go back.

[00:28:15] That's excited, signed up, but I don't know if it's going to happen. We keep looking for one, but. Bella's not feeling it I'm like, it would be so good for her. She doesn't know how good it is weird about it. It's good. They want to do it, then they don't want to do it. They'll watch like the, you know, like show they're on bunked, bunked.

[00:28:33] Yeah. Whatever they'll watch, like the shit it's like about camping, you know, they're in a camp panel show about camp. Was it like, all those shows have like at least some kind of say when they go to camp and why don't you want to go to camp? They don't want it. They don't want to leave. They're going though whether they like it or not, they just want to, I want it social to be honest screen.

[00:28:52] So let's pivot or transition a little bit. And, um, we have some questions for you as our, uh, financial planner, um, in regards to. Financial, you know, the burden on finance, special needs parents and their financial, um, kind of world. We know living in the special needs disability world, that it can be a different, a different financial outlook for us sometimes.

[00:29:19] Um, there is a financial burden on whatever level you're at for special needs for us, even though Eddie's needs are minimal. We still see a financial burden sometimes more than we realize. I think, um, a lot of times we'll think, Oh, where do we don't even have it that tough? And then what if I sit down and I did the math out, I'm like, how do we spend so much extra then the typical parent, like where does this money come from?

[00:29:49] Even when we were crowdfunding to do the podcast, I went to go figure out some statistics. And I was like, how can there be like $350 a month, some special needs parents spend. Extra than the typical family. That's so much extra money. That's a statistical CrossFit. Yeah. So I'm coming from New York city, which is a whole different thing.

[00:30:08] It's probably been more money. It's like a different language. Yeah. Yeah. That's one session for half an hour. Exactly. So it's completely unaffordable. I mean, it's, it's, it's it's insanity and. Um, you know, one of the things we talked about before we started recording was that there is a lot of public assistance available.

[00:30:27] And I would say that everyone should, no matter what your needs are you, if you're a taxpayer, you have paid into the system, you think you might need it because my husband and I do. Fine. We can pay our bills. We're not, you know, we don't have endless means, but you know, we're okay. And I had mixed feelings and people say, you don't know how expensive this could get.

[00:30:47] Just file. You can always not use it. And thank God I did because I didn't know what was going to hit me. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. And it's endless and it's many years. Yeah. And so when you look at OT, which is occupational therapy, PT, physical therapy, you look at having somebody in the classroom. And then we also had something called sets, which is academic help.

[00:31:05] S E T T S. I forget what that stands for, but they all go into this. And before we even do that, you're looking at evaluations. So you might have a private evaluation that could be five or $6,000. And then you can wait on a, on a six month, wait for the public evaluation to then get the IEP. And then a lot of providers won't work with you until you get an RSA, which means you can go out of the specific network.

[00:31:28] And then a lot of providers want enhanced payment. Um, we've spend, they stopped doing so the, no one will work with you, and then they all want you to pay under the table by the way. So they'll get a certain amount of money from the government and then they say, but my rate is really double that. So you have to make up the balance or I won't work with you.

[00:31:44] That's crazy. I mean, it's just, yeah, but that's every single one. Yeah. No one does that. So you're stuck and it's your child and you will spend your last penny for your child. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. And I'm not an educator. I was working full time while this is happening. I'm certainly not qualified to sit and do homework with him, nor is that, should that be my relationship with him?

[00:32:03] Because I'm not a teacher, I think more than ever. We all appreciate teachers given what's going on. We know this stuff is not easy. So, you know, you do want those resources, even if you don't think you're going to need them, the process is going to be so long and so involved. Just start. Yeah, you really, you, you, you want every bit of help that you can get and that's not counting also there's a lot of, um, group socialization classes could be really helpful because a lot of these, um, challenges manifest in social things that they all grow right now, he's outgrown them.

[00:32:32] He's got friends, they call him, he calls them, you know, you're not having to make. Play dates with, for him totally. You know, not a hundred percent normal, you know, middle school, but it's, it's normal for middle school. Um, so you know, you get over that, but you get over that because you've done the work doing cognitive behavioral therapy because you're in group social skills, therapy, things like that are really helpful.

[00:32:54] And. You don't want to end those too soon either. It's not, these are not things that you do for eight weeks. These are things that are for many times, for years. Yeah. So it's important to have the support group. And it's also important to have providers that talk to each other so that you're coordinating everything.

[00:33:10] But think about what I just went through. I mean, I'm like, Oh my God, like, I'm just thinking about it now. Yeah. All these things were happening. I mean, I did have a nanny, but like you're talking about OT, PT, CBT, social groups, group sessions. I mean it's. Yeah. And many of that insurance isn't covering and many of that insurance is not covering well, I did have, like I said, um, I'm in New York and you can get social services, so it's really important to be applying for that.

[00:33:38] Okay. So I was, I mean, so. Wherever you are. Step one would probably be find. Out find your resources reach out. It's usually called an IEP. Yep. So reach out. I realize education plan. I think we actually just talk and then they do, and then they do the whole report and I'm forgetting, I should have looked up before we recorded, but they do, you know, you have to get an annual report.

[00:34:03] Yup. And progress report. And they have goals that your child, you know, is hopefully going to meet with the help of the different providers that you've engaged. And you have to really make sure that you meet all the deadlines. And very often the red tape is, you know, you'll just be getting random letters in the mail.

[00:34:19] Yes. Very old fashioned. It's true. They're not going to email you, call you or text you. They'll you'll get an email. You'll get it. Literally a letter in the mail. And they'll say tomorrow at 2:00 PM, you need to be at this office. Yes, no. And I'd be like, I have a job. What I will tell you is that they were very, first of all, the people themselves at work in these offices are lovely.

[00:34:38] They are bureaucrats. They know what you're going through. And everyone I talked to in New York city. Yeah. It was wonderful. When you get them on the phone, they are advocates for children. We had the same except for pushers. They're great. And if you tell them I cannot physically leave my job and be, you know, 60 blocks North at 2:00 PM on a Wednesday on one.

[00:34:56] Day's notice, they'll let you call in. So ask before you drive yourself crazy. Make sure you ask, can I do this by phone? Oh, that's a great point. I never thought to ask that. And that is huge for us as well. We have scrambling went up there and it was just the wait hours there late. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I think I told you that I remember at that time rambled for it.

[00:35:16] Yeah. You've said we could call or something, I think, but I'm like, I don't want, I don't know. I get overwhelmed and I get nervous. W another thing that I've heard great advices, because I think we've said it, like, I've talked to people who like go in like guns blazing. Like for this, we'll be nice to them.

[00:35:33] They're ready to help you bring cookies, money for you. Nice. They're ready to help you. And we've used them as a resource. Like I go into that meeting and saying what, like, we're struggling here. Who do you have for resources? What can you do to help me? This is what we need. We're looking for outside activities.

[00:35:51] We're looking for whatever they usually, if they don't have it, they've made phone calls for us. And I don't have to make all those 50 phone calls. They'll make all those phone calls for me. Like they have. A social worker there that can do that for me. I don't have to do all that work. I think a lot of resources, right.

[00:36:09] With the whole guns blazing. Cause there are, there's a lot of parents out there that feel like, you know, they are the, the freedom fighter. Yeah. You know, for their child. Um, there's ways that you have to be a fighter for your child, but there's ways to fight. You're going to be more effective. You have to realize these are people that are on your side.

[00:36:26] They've chosen. They don't like to paint a lot. These people that choose to do this, and they're frustrated with the system and the tools that they've been given just as much. And they have a limited budget and they're trying to do their very best. And by the way, I don't know about another cities, but, you know, there's, for example, there's a scandal going on with the SATs and these movie stars and all that.

[00:36:46] And there are people that try to get their children to be. Like fake diagnosed. And so a lot of these people are dealing with that sometimes where they just think that their child should get extra time on a test. Let me tell you, I don't think there's Trump does anything. I think it's fine that he can, in general, the teachers have said that's not the issue, you know, it's just not, I mean, it's fine.

[00:37:04] And he, I think he gets to be in a different room. Maybe he can focus better, fine, but like, there's a lot of people that. Ruin it for the children that really have this need because they want to game the system. And I think that they do have their, their radars up for that in these that they do have sometimes parents that want their children to have a diagnosis so that they will get advantages when it comes to testing, especially when they get older.

[00:37:28] Yeah. The highest quality game. Yeah. Well, they, I mean, that's part of these allegations in the scandal was that parents would say that their trials had a need. To have a privately administered exam so that they could cheat. Which is crazy when you think about it, right? Because there'd be like, they need to be in a different room and then they would pass all the tests.

[00:37:47] Uh, there'd be somebody else to take the test for them and then put it back in not to plug another podcast, but there is a great gig, sir. Capitalism. I love it. I'm so obsessed with it. Mean it's all about checking it out. It's all about the college admission scandal. And I, I love it. The whole podcast is about that.

[00:38:08] It's like cereal, you know, it's like, uh, like, uh, yeah, I can't get enough of that. I'm so obsessed with that's my next, it was amazing. I, the whole thing, I just find that the whole things are absolutely fascinating because I've been through it with my stepchildren, the college admissions process, and. I just am like, get a light by the end of it.

[00:38:28] You know, really this is what you're doing with your money. And I just, I can't even like, no, your children not go where they shouldn't go. Yeah. Yeah. It just, you don't. Why would you want that for your child? Exactly. Well, by the end of it, I was like, just tell us, going to community college. Like by the end, I was like, she doesn't need to go to any of these kids.

[00:38:45] Aren't going to waste the money. Yeah. I was like, this is bullshit. They're not going to any of these colleges. We don't need any of this. Like, by the end of it, I was like, this is such a waste of money. I was so frustrated. Oh yeah. Well, we'll see. We'll see what happens with when all these fancy colleges go virtual and people.

[00:39:03] You know, myself included my step son goes to an expensive private college and I'm kinda like, we'll see what happens, but if they're virtual, that's just not cool. Well, yeah, well not you're spending all that money price point. Yeah. They're getting the same education as your 12 year old probably. Well, like I said, I have to say his school for the, for the situation.

[00:39:23] I think his school is doing an amazing job. Yeah. That's awesome. Really? They're holding the children accountable. They're making them do you know. As they're emulating the real classroom as much as they can and much better than I have heard from other classrooms. I mean, I've heard really disappointing stories about other situations because the teachers are now home with kids in some cases.

[00:39:41] So you're supposed to teach class and yet you're suddenly home with your children who were supposed to be in class. How does that work? You would have childcare watching your children while you were teaching. Focused on teaching. So it's a really challenging situation for a lot of teachers. So I think we have to empathize with them.

[00:39:58] Yeah. Receive to take a wash of the school year. Pretty much thankfully our kids aren't in high school or anything super important. Not that, not that, you know, sixth grade isn't important, but it's not the same. Yeah. It's like junior high school, you know, look everyone's in the same boat. Yeah, it's all the same, but different days, what it is, yeah.

[00:40:17] Was a I'll point out. Anyway. I just think everyone should go for whatever resources they can get. And, um, it is important to advocate for your child. And it's important to, um, like I said, be nice to everyone, but also. Hold your ground. If they say, I'm not sure you need it, just say, well, what, what do you need to see?

[00:40:35] Sometimes they'll want, I hate to say it, but another evaluation. And then you got to get on the list if you want the public evaluation. I mean, there's, you know, one point they thought that there were something with his eyes and had to get that evaluation, you know, it was just, Oh my goodness. So many different things.

[00:40:49] So, um, Just ask them what would qualify if they, you know, you know, cause you're looking for, at one point they were looking at, um, Oh gosh, they, they have children and do the buttons like, um, fine motor skills, things like that. You know, what, what are you looking for for him to get this kind of therapy? I mean, I.

[00:41:06] You know, I thought he needed speech therapy, but he was evaluated several times and they felt no that he just wasn't bought, he wasn't trying to speak. Yeah. It was just, it went into more of OT. Yes. So now in your kind of way in your world, what about like in, even with your children, what about helping children learn about their own finances for the future?

[00:41:31] Um, no, I would think normally this is a difficult thing to kind of teach children about. Do you think it's something that would be even harder with a child with special needs or disabilities? Not necessarily because as I mentioned, my son really enjoys structure. So for example, he had a jar filled with coins.

[00:41:49] That was a saving star. We did a savings save, spend, give, which is something recommended by an author named Ron Lieber who wrote a book called the opposite of spoiled. So he had his saving star and we wanted to put it into the bank and we brought it to the bank. I thought that you could just dump it in a machine and it would count it for you.

[00:42:03] Apparently not. Apparently you can just go somewhere and you pay 11%. At some bop box at a supermarket, which was not close by, it was very heavy and plus it's 11% or they will, they were very kind in our case, they handed us this like tray where you can count out the money, you can roll it yourself. Yep.

[00:42:20] And I said, well, it's your choice? It's your money? Do you want to walk, you know, eight blocks and pay 11% or, you know, we have an hour before your next activity, do you want to just chill and like put, you know, make the roles of the money. And he's like, well, let's, let's start, let's see how long it takes us to do forever.

[00:42:37] We did some, we ended up bringing hell, but we're sitting there rolling this money. And, and we even did a little Instagram story on it. And he said, mom, this is kind of, you know, this is very satisfying. He kind of found it relaxing to just make stacks of pennies, you know, cause it's that sort of, that feeling of order and counting.

[00:42:54] And it was interesting. He observed, you know, how much more money. Was in the role with the quarters versus all this work for 50 pennies. And it still was only worth 50 cents. So that's the quarters, you know, the same amount of work yielded use so much more money and, you know, talking about what you could buy with this amount of money and adding up how much he had.

[00:43:11] I mean, I still remember it was 40 to 71. I mean, it's crazy. Like we literally sat there. So I think that a lot of lessons can be very. Um, helpful to them and really help them make sense and give order to their world. Yeah. And I mean, in that same, you're teaching him not only those math skills and those money skills, but also what, how much his money is worth to him.

[00:43:31] So the next time he has that same amount of money, is it worth walking those blocks and taking that percentage or is it worth doing the work. Like, how much is that money worth to him at that point? I think that's super big life lesson, because as adults are kind of like, eh, how much is this money worth to me?

[00:43:47] Is it worth using my credit card? Is it worth using my debit card? Like, you know, you're kind of learning. And do you want to pay the interest on that? Or do you want to use my debit card? It's kind of the same lesson in a way. Um, so do you recommend getting children like bank accounts in, at what age do you recommend kind of starting to teach them.

[00:44:05] Financial lessons and things like that. So right now we we've gotten each kid, a bank account at 13, like their own that they literally administer it, I should say, well, he has a bank account actually. So I take that back. He does have one, but he doesn't have a debit card, like a savings that's in his possession.

[00:44:20] Right. So we did deposit that money in his account. And I also told him because he got, I would add up his birthday gifts. I did tell him that I moved a certain amount of money into a brokerage account where it's in an S and P 500 index. Okay. Because I didn't want it so much money sitting in that account.

[00:44:34] I mean, he's 12. So you know, a lot of birthday gifts add up, so you don't want that much just sitting in savings. And he, you know, I brought up stocks. He hasn't yet. I'll have to kind of see what kids are interested in. He hasn't been that interested yet. So you answer their questions and, you know, there's a lot of things that he sort of knows.

[00:44:50] By osmosis because of sort of a job hazard with me. So he had like a toe injury and he was kind of annoyed at me, but I started going on about, well, you know, it's December, we've already used it up our deductible for our insurance. So this is great because it'll pay for 70% of your time. And he's like, I know how that works by now, mom, you know, like with the eyes rolled, you know, he's just, you know, and then he poses, cause he knows, I want to do an Instagram story about it.

[00:45:15] Oh, that's so funny. Where are the typical, but I wanted to check the picture first, so you always have to get the consent for that, but you know, he's sort of over it with me. I mean, my favorite moment was when he pointed in the bookstore to my book, I love that picture. Um, because it was, he was proud of me.

[00:45:30] I had a book and you know, in Barnes and noble, it was really cool. Awesome. So, you know, they know they know what I do, so it, it happens. It, you know, by osmosis, I, you know, they sort of kind of know the deal and they pick things up along the way. I think that's pretty awesome. I mean, I think for us as parents, we're always like, We try to implement money strategy or learning about their, their own finances to them.

[00:45:55] We have one child who is really good. We, yeah, any has like $200 in cash scorched into his little piggy bank and refuses to spend it. And then occasionally he'll be like, mom, I just want to give you a dollar. I just want to give you a dollar a day. He was like diaper money. And I was like, no, you can't. He was like, what about just a dollar?

[00:46:15] I was like, you can put a dollar. Then he said, I said, you gave me a dollar for mother's day. He said, I just have so much. I just son, it's just a dollar. Yeah. And then Annabella never has any money. No matter how much money she gets faster than she makes. Yeah. It's always negative. It's like Starbucks, I'll pay you back.

[00:46:33] I'll pay you back. She always has negative amounts. She just, it burns a hole in her pocket. The second she gets it, she has to spend it. She had gift cards for Christmas. It's like, when can we get on Amazon? Like she can't spend it fast enough. So teaching her the like meaning behind money and how to save is so difficult for us, because she's just so eager.

[00:46:55] To like, get more of something. Well, she might not be ready. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's the frustration and, you know, look, there's three kids and, you know, I raised them all. Um, all of the, my stepchildren grew up living with us and, um, very different personalities, especially when it comes to money and. You know, as the oldest one got out of college and you know, was suddenly on her health insurance, she has a whole new appreciation and the irony is she has good trust for big company.

[00:47:22] So in theory, she has good insurance. It's not great because it, it is what it is, but I mean, she's, you know, she works for a major large company, so she has real insurance and it's really bad, but, um, but that's what insurance is these days. Being the change of the behavioral change when it was suddenly her own money that she had worked so hard to earn in her very real grown-up job, you see a whole change in your behavior, and sometimes it's not going to happen until then.

[00:47:47] Yeah. Until they feel it. You have to feel it. Yourself and understand the feeling of, do I really w you know, do I really want to go to this discretionary appointment that I don't really need to go to? Yeah. Um, people start making different choices. Yeah. So that's maybe when it's going to come and maybe, you know, you just start at the appropriate age.

[00:48:09] You say, this is what you have, and when you run out of money, then that was your choice. And they might have to miss something that you really don't want them to miss. Yeah. No, but that's easier said than done. That's a really hard thing to do. Yeah. Kristen just takes my debit card.

[00:48:27] Um, no, I'm actually really good. I grew up, I grew up very, Nope. Sorry, mom and dad. I grew up, um, you know, no, we both grew up. We grew up, well, we've grew up in the city. We grew up with less than most. And so we, I think we learned because of that. Like what we, won't what we don't want to be. Yeah. So we just got money.

[00:48:50] That's more frugal. Cause I gotta build, we, we, I need something to like. Look forward to, to like live off of eventually. We're also very hungry for like the next, because of that. Yeah. I was just make money. That's easy. I don't want to say it's easier, but I think that my children, I don't like to say they're spoiled, but I would like to say they're they're ignorantly, blissfully privileged.

[00:49:14] They don't really know. Yeah, we have as much as they have. And you know, we're trying, I mean, look, we had always had a maid and my son literally said to me, I kid you not because we don't have a meetup here. He said to me, when I did his laundry here, I apparently did it on a Tuesday and the maid comes on Wednesday.

[00:49:32] And as I said, he does like his routine and Wednesday is the day the maid came. So, you know, what's coming because he needs structure and routine. He was like, mom, She do my laundry on Wednesdays. There's no Wednesdays. And I just looked at him and I was like, I'm going to do your laundry when I do it, or you didn't do your laundry.

[00:49:51] And he was like, okay. Oh no. And not only that you're making your bed now because he made his bed at camp. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to tell him to make it, but I don't know, follow up. Cause I'm just tired, you know? I mean, it's just, sometimes you just can't. I don't know, they're getting back in it later on in the day.

[00:50:12] Well, that's the thing it's like, but when he said that to me, I was, it's just like, Oh no, Tuesday, Wednesday, he needs structure. I get that, that Wednesday. It is mine. Wednesday is today laundry, but I was like, you gotta, you got to resilience here, honey resilience. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Come on kiddo. You can do this.

[00:50:34] You'll pick your battles. Right? Look, but I, I say that jokingly, but not because as I said earlier, like it is a real thing to need structure. Yeah. Like that's a valid thing that this is how his week is structured and he plans his, you know, using his clothing in a way that, you know, he knows he gets fresh clothing on Wednesday, afternoon after school.

[00:50:53] And so that shook up his routine. All kidding aside. Yeah. Um, but at the same time, I think it's important to teach children resilience and that they can't be overly coddled. Yes. You need to have empathy for the challenges that they have to. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. So we ask our guests all the same question.

[00:51:13] Um, if you had 30 seconds to speak to our community, what advice would you give them, have empathy for your children? Understand that each person has a different personality. Siblings are very different. Life stages are very different and needs are going to change. As you go through a journey and the person they are today will inform who they are going forward.

[00:51:38] They're going to evolve and you have to kind of be ready to change along with them and understand their needs. But really just try to be empathetic. I look back at the years when he was younger and I just didn't get him. So try to get them and figure out what they need. Right. That's awesome. I think that's a big thing.

[00:51:54] Like, you know, we always think like we're, as a parent, before your kids get older, you're like, ah, I'm going to, I got this down. I'm going to. Figure this all out and then you kind of go forward and I realized all the time, I'm like, I just, every time something happens, I, the back and I'm like, I just thought I knew what I was, what, I didn't know.

[00:52:12] Like I thought I knew this and I had it down and then I looked back and I'm like, Nope, got that one wrong. Nope. Got that one. Yeah, they changed too. Oh, that's for sure. I'm like, sometimes I'm like, Oh, you're way further bine beyond what I thought. Like, you're way more mature than where I thought. And I was kind of parenting you as if you weren't at that point yet.

[00:52:32] So I'm kind of, I'm evolving as she's evolved at the same time. Right. I mean, I didn't come into this with any experience and so you can't be too hard on yourself cause we're all flying blind. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. I just keep it real with the kids. Yeah. I'm like what? What's wrong? Yeah, it's fun.

[00:52:51] Well, cause I mean, I'm fortunate. I get the, you know, I'm fun, dad. Um, the, you had a bad day, let's go, we're going to go do something. We're going to go do something like you can dictate what it is. You can tell me what you want. We can go do that, but that's what we're going to go do where it's like, you know, I just always have the stupid jokes or the, you know, dad, it's not the right time comments.

[00:53:16] I don't know that's helpful for them though. I think when they're having a tough day to be like, what do you need from this situation? And then just following them in the moment, you'll be pissed. But later that night you'll be like, thank you. Yeah. Thank you for intervening. You're welcome. So, what are you working on next?

[00:53:33] Like what what's kind of to come for you? Things are kind of like right now, I'm supposed to be working on my book, which is raising financial grownup, which is really about the older years about, you know, kids 16 to 26 and helping them learn to be independent adults. And I have to kind of rethink that a little bit because with this pandemic, you want kids to be independent, but you also want them to know that it's okay to be a little dependent sometimes when you need to be.

[00:53:56] Yeah. It's the time when I think a lot of intergenerational there's a lot of intergenerational support going on. Oh, for sure. That's okay. Well, I think it's too, that's a, that's an age group. I mean age. I mean, even, I know when I was there, you, you kind of get lost at that point. You're not, you don't really learn those skills when you're in high school and then you kind of get on your own in college and you're sort of on your own financially, but not really.

[00:54:22] And then you get this like real job and you're really on your own and everything is thrown at you and what to do with that and what to do with your money. You kind of, sometimes don't figure that out until you have a family and you're in your thirties and sometimes that's too late and you think, Oh, I wish I did all that in my twenties.

[00:54:40] Yeah. I mean, that's always going to happen. None of us are perfect. And part, I do talk about when I give speeches some of the mistakes that I've made, but you're. So fun, but it is, I mean, it's a lot of the book is even just, how do you read your first paycheck? I mean, there's a lot of acronyms and, you know, lingo and, you know, I didn't know what those were.

[00:54:59] Yeah. I mean, they don't just say this is for social security. No, they have to put all these different acronyms on. So you don't know where what's going. You just know that like half your paycheck went away. Yeah. Right. So it's important that. That people understand that and know what it's going for so that they make informed choices and know what resources they have, even, especially if they work for a big company to know what's available there, understanding how to navigate their HR website, understanding the impact of different decisions.

[00:55:25] You talked about your debit card versus your credit card. It's important to understand that even it's not just a question of taking money out of your bank account versus. Potentially paying interest on it. If you carry a balance on a credit card, a debit card does not have as much protection as a credit card if it gets stolen.

[00:55:40] So, you know, it's not always a clear decision, which is the best thing to have. So it's a little complicated. So the book is, is aimed at parents of children that age to help the parents teach the kids. Perfect. Because as much as we want to say that schools are going to do it or the kids to do it themselves, it's okay for the parents to help too.

[00:55:57] We all have a vested interest in people, um, being successful as financial grownups. Yeah. Yeah. And we have a responsibility for sure. Well, it's funny. Cause I'm from the stigma of it is up to like, it was up to me, you know, you control the weight. Like you, you can't, you can't rely on your family. It's it's on your back and it's on your, your hands like this, you have to take care of and you have to provide, but you need those tools will ultimately it is.

[00:56:20] But if the parents are interested enough to, for example, read my book when it comes out, they can help. Because if you want to give your kid the help, not give them just piles of money, not that kind of help, but give them the resources so that they can learn to be financially independent, um, because otherwise generationally and of course, things are changing because of the pandemic.

[00:56:39] But what was happening is that my generation gen X was at a point where we help our children so much that we're ruining our own retirements and we could be put in a position where they have to support us. And that's why I would rather have you be harsh with a kid in the early twenties and get them on a good path.

[00:56:54] Then give them so much that they don't become independent. And then they're also forced to support you because you spent all your money on them. Yeah. Too much money on them. Yeah. There's a funny little saying it's like spoil your kids, raise your grandkids, raise your kids, spoil your grandkids. It was kind of like the idea of, if you take the time to put that effort into your children, you'll get to reap those benefits.

[00:57:15] But when you just don't take that time to put the effort in there's no, you can't reap what you sow, you know? That was so many analogies.

[00:57:28] Love it. So everyone should go out and get your book that is out right now. That's financial grownup, right? Where can they find it? It's everywhere, except we're all trapped at home. So probably order it online. It's called how to be a financial grownup paperback. It's in hardcover. It's an audio. I actually did the audio myself.

[00:57:45] Awesome. It's really interesting. There's actors that do some of these. Yes. The, uh, quotes from famous people, which was interesting. We got to choose the people that read my husband and I got to choose the people that read the little parts, which was really awesome. Fun experience. And please listen to our podcast.

[00:58:00] My name is friends now, part of the Westwood one network, which I co-host with Joseph C high and rotating cast of really smart people. And we do a lot of stories about money that are current personal finance stories, headlines that you see in the newspaper, making them relevant, teaching you what you can learn from those stories.

[00:58:17] And then of course, financial grownup is real money experiences that had a huge impact on the lives of very successful people in the lessons that we can learn from them. Awesome. Thank you so much, Bobby. We really appreciate you coming on and talking with us and sharing your resources with us. Thank you so much by so much.

[00:58:35] I feel honored to be part of the first season. Yeah, we're super pumped to have you so glad we met at our chat. I know sitting down at the right table. I know it's hard to believe. This episode is going to be listened to by like millions of people. You have a million ethic. My mom million 1 million times.

[00:58:54] Well, thank you so much for listening. We really hope you enjoyed this episode as always. Please make sure you share with a friend and leave a review. You can find all the resources mentioned in this episode, on our Facebook or Instagram on, at special about special. Thanks again. And we'll see you soon.